My Desire

How many people can say "this song was written for me" in their life time?
Not many!
Well it was not exactly written for me but it does have my name in it, Desire, and it is a wonderful song so please listen and enjoy!

The song is a fusion between contemporary Jazz and African Beats.

My Desire was written and composed by the great Steve Bedi

Mr. Bedi hails from Ghana and has shared the stage with giants in the industry such as the great Hugh Masakele, the Osibisa band and some local artistes like Kwabena Kwabena and Wutah.

He is the reigning Instrumentalist of the year 2012, an award received at the annual Vodafone Ghana Music Awards.

Whats you flavour?

As I stare blankly at my keypad, a rush of thoughts surges through my head. I have a whole lot on my mind lately, a lot of unanswered questions.

However, the one that perhaps stands out the most is the one that my ‘buddy’ (yes that’s what we shall refer to him) asked me this evening; “WHAT IS YOUR TYPE/FLAVOUR?”

You see, I’m getting to that age where you actually realize that there is no excuse anymore, that you are actually an adult. You look around you and all your mates are settling down, the wedding invites start coming in, baby showers left right and centre and well you look at your life (well mine anyway) and all you have is a great job, good friends and a loving family.

Don’t get me wrong, these are really great things to have in one’s life but at this stage you as k yourself, is this going to be my life? I’m I going to be that aunty that has the nice house and car and all the trimming but no husband or kids?

I think this is what they normally refer to as ‘the pressure’ phase.

You see, on the one hand I think it’s time for the settling and the baby thing because let’s face it, I’m not getting any younger and quite frankly, life gets a bit lonely.

And then on the other hand, (and this is usually my inner DIVA doing the thinking) I think what is the rush; enjoy life, you only live once! Why let a man and a baby cut your fun…! You’re not even ready, you still have a career to build and plenty more fishes to sample. LOL

However, perhaps the scariest aspect of this psychological turmoil finding the answer this simple but important question: “WHAT IS YOUR TYPE?” 

What IS my type?

What is it that I want from a man?

What can I offer a ‘life’ partner?

What can they offer me?

What virtues I’m I looking for in a man?

Height?  Religion? Bank balance? Built? Race?

What is my type?

It seemed so simple to answer until I actually attempted to and found out that in actuality I have never sat down to think this through!

Then it dawned on me…I DON’T KNOW WHAT IM LOOKING FOR!

I’m not even sure if I have been looking!

After I got over the shock of my reality, I become conscious of the fact that in the last two years, all my attention has been given to my career and building on it.

You’re probably thinking why it is a shocking realization; well I always thought I knew what I wanted without taking the time to access those thoughts. Since leaving University, I have not seriously entertained the idea of a love interest or perusing it to eternity.

The moral of the story is, if you want something or think you are ready for something, take the time to evaluate and analyze why you want that thing and more importantly, What it is you are actually looking for…do not rush!

LETS GET IT ON

 Hello Thicckens,

I know its been a while but i hope you welcome me back with open arms

Ok, so imagine getting dressed. To hit the town with your girls for a night out of fun and antics!

You hit the town, the vibe is great, and you’re feeling good and you down your first glass of cocktail.

As the sweet sensation of the sweet flavours travels down your throat, you begin to let go of the weeks stress and as your muscles relax your feet begins to alert you to take another sip and make your way to the dance floor to show your girls your version of the Azonto!

Sounds amazing huh?

Well imagine all this being cut short being interrupted by an obnoxious man who thinks that the fact that you have made the effort to dress up and are looking good, that this warrants an invitation for compliments and, most of the time, unwanted attention.

Don't get me wrong! It’s always nice to be complimented but there are ways to go about it!

And invading my personal space and interrupting my ‘down’ time with my friends is NOT the time.

What I don't understand is why men think that every woman out in a club or in bar looking good is waiting for a guys attention!

And the fact that most of them are not even clued on how to act like a gentleman and how to approach a woman is what makes the whole situation awkward and annoying!

Ok, imagine a grown woman who’s paid her own fee to enter the club, bought her own drinks and a man sending his friends over to summon her like a school girl waiting to be noticed by her crush or better still, like a person being called by her boss!

I mean how would you expect her to react?

It’s different when it comes to some insecure women whose self esteem and confidence is dependent on such demeaning acts from the opposite sex but from a self respecting woman like most women out there that I know,  this is an issue so guys take note!

Guys! Will it hurt to just admire from afar? Or if you must talk to us to boost your own egos please learn to do it with caution and some respect!

I mean will it hurt to walk up to a woman and say ‘excuse me miss I think you look very 'beautiful' tonight!’

NOTE: Don't say 'hot' or 'sexy' because you don't know her well enough to feel that free with her!

Gone are the days when men were actually anxious, nervous even fearful to approach a woman because of the respect he accorded her and how much they valued us!

Guys! Let's try and get back to that because we appreciate that and I bet you that will get you the number quicker than your ‘waste’ lines you picked up from American movies or from Hip Hop songs!

Till next time, let's keep Thicck!

Hello Thicckens!
Longest time! I hope you have missed me as much I do you!

I really wish I could write and update the blog on the road like through BB but I have not been able to find the 'app' for it.

I am constantly traveling and therefore can not write which depresses me.

Anyway, I am on holiday now in New York for my birthday so I have sometime to get back to writing.

I am looking forward to reading Steve Harvey's Best seller 'Think like a Man' and review it.

Searching for GOLD

So, I came accross this article and as sad as it is I had to share with you guys...! As the year draws to a close and we continue to grow and evolve, it is important to share in people's joy as well as pain to help us with our transitions and also to war that we have to be becareful what we chose to chase in life because NOT all that glitters is GOLD!

Please click on the link below and read...Be thankful for the little we have becuase GOD is not sleeping neither is HE ignoring your pain or sufferings! There is a time for everything in life so please be prayerful, watchful and patient!!!

Please pray for this young lady...!

 http://habarizanyumbani.jambonewspot.com/2011/12/06/i-am-a-dying-african-bestial-porn-actor-stranded-in-europe/

Keep it Thicck

Reflections

As the year draws to a close and I reflect on its events, I must say that I have just let it go on by without achieving anything. Well maybe I’m being a bit harsh but real and truly, I am not impressed with myself.

Ok, maybe I have achieved something, because I did move to Ghana as I said I would (plus other things). However, scary and challenging that has been for me, I did it and I am proud of myself.

But, 2011 was supposed to be my year of elevation…and guess what I had every opportunity to make it just that but what happened? I allowed FEAR and self doubt to overcome me!

You know for someone that is always preaching self belief, I really messed up! And this is the lesson here guys, we have to be careful to not lose focus and allow our own thoughts to deceive us. I admit, the year has not been that bad in terms of achievement but in my personal growth, I feel defeated because I allowed, the fear of conforming stop me in an area where I know I can succeed and be an individual.

On a lighter note, I am happy and grateful for this year because I feel elevated in my spirit and feel am getting closer to finding myself. I have grown a lot and matured along with it. I have learned to let go and let God, and am learning to face the truth and deal with it instead of locking it inside and being bitter.

I have elevated in my romantic life to…you know before so long, I have been afraid to love because the only man I ever loved left me when I need him most, my daddy (may his soul rest in peace). I have always found an excuse not to open up and allow myself to be vulnerable because I was not ready for the rollercoaster of a relationship. But now, I feel that I am ready to love and to be loved because it is my right to be loved and to be loved right.

I have elevated also in the knowledge of loving myself…enough to say NO to the people who want to exploit me in many ways than one. I love the fact that I don’t know it all and love the journey I’m on to gaining this knowledge. I love and accept the fact I am unique in my flaws as well as my perfections. I am not the wealthiest; I’m not from the perfect family, but then again who is? I accept my position in life and I am ready and willing to make it full and great.

You know, last year if you had heard the way I talked, you would commend the level of maturity that I am speaking with. I sounded like a fool but who can blame, even the bible says when I was a child, I spoke like a child…but now that I am old…well you get it.

Look, although this year did not turn out entirely as I’d hoped in the ways that I’d hoped, I am still grateful for all the lessons and growth that has occurred. Please, take it from me, it don’t matter how old you are or where you are in life, taking time out to assess yourself is very important because things may not actually be as they seem.

Self growth is the key to living a purpose filled life…if you are living a lie, how can your life reflect God’s Will and purpose in your life?

‘Te Amo’ It means ‘I Love you’

Hello my lovely readers, I don’t celebrate Christmas so I cannot partake in the festivities or send seasonal greetings to you however I do hope that you are all enjoying your selves and that all is well with you.

I was just thinking, as I was cooking today and it hit me like a knife cutting through my skin that I have never been in LOVE before.

When I was sixteen and got with my first boyfriend, and after losing my virginity to him years later, it only felt natural for me to reply ‘I Love you too’ when he said it. And for the remainder of the years we were together, it just made sense to ‘love’ him because he was my boyfriend after all and essentially, my first.

But a year after we have broken up, I am faced with the fact that what I felt was not ‘love’ but comfort. I mean, I can’t dispute the fact that I don’t really care for him now after how things ended between us, I have considered whether this ‘realization’ was coming out of contempt or disdain. And I am sad to say that it is not. I say I am sad because it will be easier if it was because I was bitter than face the fact that I spent so many years living a lie.

I don’t blame him or myself for this because I don’t believe in regrets. I believe everything happens for a specific reason even if we don’t see it now.

Ok, I’m sure you’re wondering why I think I never ‘loved’ him.

Well, I don’t care what anyone says, there are certain things that we can only understand and grasp with age and experience. I don’t believe I had neither to help me decide.

I felt pressured to say ‘it’ back because I was afraid to lose him if I didn’t. I really liked him but I never respected him.

And perhaps the most important, I never saw him beside me in my dreams of when I would be inaugurated as minister someday. I could never picture our future together.

To be honest, our relationship lasted as long as it did because I felt I had to prove something to people around me. I had to prove to them that I was right and they were wrong and that I was happy. In actuality, I needed his love…I needed somebody to love me so bad that I settled for his (love) and allowed things to go on for so long.

I am writing this post because I believe there are many of us still in this predicament and cycle who refuse to stop and admit to ourselves that IT IS NOT RIGHT.

It is about time you put yourself first and admit the truth…just because he is good and ‘perfect’ does NOT mean he is the one for you…!

Stop holding on to things that don’t belong to you just because it looks good or it makes sense to everybody else. Most times we get with our boyfriends because we want to look good in front of our friends/family and the public at large, because we want people to say how lucky we are to have this and that…!

But remember...True Confidence/Happiness needs to approval...!

Besides, the question is ARE YOU HAPPY?

DO YOU really LOVE HIM/HER

I will not pretend to know it all because I don't and I am still learning, and with every epiphany I have, it teaches me how to grow from that mistake, let it go and evolve as a person.

I challenge you this month to find time to reflect on your past experiences and find out where it went wrong and make your peace because until you deal with it, it will keep haunting you…!

Do let me know how it goes…!

thicckmadamme@gmail.com

until next time, keep it Thicck!