Don’t be so needy!

This year alone, I have been called all sorts of names but the one that sticks out the most is ‘stubborn’, and the funny thing is, it is always men who say I am stubborn. I actually know I am stubborn because I know who I am so it’s not a big deal.

However, it is the reasons behind this critique that intrigues me. First of all, if I am stubborn because I will not willingly and recklessly accept everything a man tells me, then so be it.

Second of all, if I am stubborn because I know what I want and what is good for me and therefore not willing to compromise readily, then again I say, so be it.

I don’t know about you guys but I have invested many hours, reading, praying and searching for who I am. I have and is still working hard to discover myself, through identifying my strengths, weaknesses and what I can and cannot tolerate. So please tell me why I should be bothered by a man’s (correct) judgment of me.

I will not lie, I have always let what people think of me affect me but through my journey, I have discovered ME and accepted what I’m worth (good and bad).

A man who loves you and respects you and therefore wants to BE with you should be someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you today just the way you are. This man should also believe in your future.

So to put it simply, I really don’t need you in my life if you are not willing to help me be a better person. I simply will not allow anyone who is not willing to accept me for who I am into my life and neither should you.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is about time we STOP compromising ourselves and our futures for the sake of fake feelings and forced affections that don’t last.

Spend time with you; discover who you are before allowing others to know you. If you don’t know who you are, people will deceive you and you will spend your life accepting the lies that people tell you.

If you know who you are and what you’re worth, no one can tell you, you are what you are not. You will not dress to impress but rather dress to reflect the true you.

When you accept who you are, you will not need the approval of those around you (the opposite sex) in order to feel good about yourself.

 I always say this, and I have come to live by it: TRUE CONFIDENCE NEEDS NO APPROVAL.

Trust me, as long as you know God and know who you are in Him, you need NO ONE!

I touch myself

It’s a Wednesday afternoon and after the week I’m having, it’s quite nice to just sit back and enjoy the afternoon in front of the TV.

On TV now is the Oprah Winfrey show, and there is a woman, talking about the importance of teaching your teenage children (females) how to masturbate: touch themselves.

According to the (expert) woman, it is better for parents to teach their daughters the importance of pleasuring themselves so as to eliminate any dependency on young boys who don’t care about them (most of the time) for pleasure.

Naturally, masturbation is a very uncomfortable subject to talk about in any society across the world. Personally, I believe speaking with your children about sex is imperative however, teaching them how to masturbate and ‘pleasure’ themselves seems outrageous to me.

First of all, I believe that between the ages of thirteen and sixteen, there are so many things to discover and experience than finding your G-spot. Call me old fashioned but you have school, puberty, make-up, shopping, partying and not to mention, a new introduced freedom, so why a mother will spend time introducing a child to this act of self pleasure is beyond me.

On the other hand, I do understand that pleasing one’s self may limit any further interest in finding out what the opposite sex may do for a young girl. However, learning at that tender age to please yourself sexually may cause an in balance in future relationships and therefore their future sex life.

I am a believer and I believe God created sex to be enjoyed in the confines of marriage and with your chosen, God given partner or if you are not a believer, then sex should at least be enjoyed between people who have true passion and affection for one another.

Quite frankly, it is very sad how in today’s society, we use sex as an escape of reality and what’s more as an excuse.

No doubt, being a parent is not easy but I am a firm believer in the saying that ‘teach a child in the right way and when they grow, they will not depart from it’.

I do not believe teaching your child how to masturbate is the right way. It is just ridiculous and stupid. It’s like saying, teach a child how to punch themselves because it may stop them to not inflict pain on others…STUPID!

Should wives get paid?

I have recently been given an opportunity to share my views on a national radio station here in Ghana (X-Fm/9pm till 11pm) and my first topic is ‘should wives get paid?’ When I got the email, my first response was ‘for what?’

It can be argued that wifely duties as well as motherly duties are the hardest yet most fulfilling duties a woman can enjoy in life.

So why this question?

In today’s society, with all the women empowerment and female independence I am not surprised that this topic is raised.

Here is the thing, when a woman decides to get married and therefore become a wife; I believe they not only accept to become a companion but a whole lot of things. As a woman, I believe it is your responsibility to keep your home clean, tidy and happy. This includes keeping your man happy, kids healthy, well groomed and happy. For that reason I do not believe wives should get paid for doing what is expected of them.

See to me this question is farfetched and nonsensical because it’s like saying should a child be paid for being a child?

Yes being a (house) wife is a full time job and you don’t have any colleagues’ o relate with and is often depressing but on the other hand, I believe the rewards are more gratifying and more rewarding than a mere promotion at a real job.

I believe a wife should be appreciated for the wonderful jobs they do every day because lord knows it is not an easy task.

Wives, good or bad, have to put up with a lot mentally, emotionally, psychologically, socially and most of all physically. Call me a feminist but I believe it is the wife who holds a home together. Men do their part but let’s face it, in today’s world the men are mainly useless and juvenile making the wife’s job even more challenging.  (we’ll leave that for another post)

To cut a long story short, if you are not ready for what comes with marriage please enjoy your freedom and independence because it all comes with the territory: the hard work, the emotional roller coaster, the joys and tears, the cleaning and home keeping and more of all the feeling of not being appreciated. It may not be fun every day but it’s a life you chose, you chose or had an integral part in becoming a wife so please, buckle up and enjoy the ride.

And men and children, please try and appreciate both the big and small things that your wife and mummy does and show that you value their efforts and hard work.

Why are girls so Bitchy?

Is it just me or are girls so bitchy and catty that it is even impossible to find new friends these days.

I have more than 10 siblings, most of which are girls so I really have no need for friends but I still have to say something.

There are some girls around, especially on my Facebook (not going name names or describe them too much for obvious reasons) that are very stylish and quite cool I must admit. However they come across so bitchy and so self centered that on many occasions I have had to stop myself from even complimenting them in fear of them thinking I want to be them or be their friends (by force).

Whatever happened to those days when a person can just appreciate another person without any suspicion or ulterior motive?

Personally, I find it very sad and ludicrous, especially because these same people go to extra miles just to be noticed and admired yet when they are told they look good by females they either get offended (for reasons unknown to me) or get bitchy…!

Maybe I’m missing something; maybe in today’s society it is only proper for men to give compliments?

Girls, please let’s keep the bitchiness to a minimum and let’s all just get along!

Crossroads

Hey Thicckens, it’s a Sunday evening here in Ghana and as I sit in my (late) fathers favorite chair in the house I grew up in, I cannot help but count my blessings. I and my siblings have come a long way since the passing of the old man but we still have a long way to go.

*deep breath*

I entitled this post cross roads because I feel that’s exactly where I am at this point in my life. Like every young woman, my age, I am faced with so many opportunities, blessings and decisions to make and for the life of me I don’t know which way to swing.

I know you guys know what I’m talking about. So many of my friends are either married or have babies. There is no pressure on me personally, but in my quiet times I do ponder over these things and question why I do not feel compelled to search for or long for these things.

When it comes to my career, I know exactly what I want to do, the lengths I’m willing to go to, to achieve my goals, however ask me about how many kids I want and how I see my future in regards to a family and you will have me stuttering.

Now that I have met, who seems to be Mr. Right, I am at a crossroads. Do I want the same things he wants, in the same time frame and do I want these things with him?