Hey Thick ones…I miss you guys so much…it’s good to be back. I’m still a bit jet lag though but God is good. So on my way to Italy, I wasn’t aware that ‘Easy Jet’ had not in flight entertainment therefore I had two hours with my thoughts and we all know what transpires when that happens. Anyway, during the flight my thoughts drifted to my current situation as a single woman. My thoughts rudely got interrupted as I was suddenly brought to reality when the plain jilted as a result of slight turbulence. But just as sudden as the jilting plain, a though also hit me…I HAVE NEVER ACTUALLY BEEN SINGLE…!
Ok…so the truth is, I had my first (proper) boyfriend when I was 16years old….and we all know how that ended…but to be honest with you guys, I really cannot think of a time that I have been TOTALLY single. I know by the end of this post you guys can identify…and if you don’t then I guess it will be safe to assume that I have ‘daddy’ issues…lol
But seriously, as far back as I can think, I have always attracted male attention. I remember I had my first encounter with men when I was about 14yearl old on the bus to Plaistow when the man ‘moved’ to me and asked me for my number…lol…being naive…and excited, I gave him my house number…I couldn’t wait to tell my friends the next day in school. When I did, I found out that they had been experiencing this already.
My point is that from that day, there has always been a man in my life. Don’t misunderstand me; these men have not been my boyfriends, in the sense that my relationship with them has never crossed the line of talking on the phone or just speaking. However, they have always been there. Hence my present panic! For the most part of my life I have always had a dominant male presence from daddy and my foster dad to all these men.
Most of the time it is very easy to point fingers and judge people (I should know, because I do) when we see how they live but as I have to learn we have to always accept that there is always more to the story. It has never been my intention to make sure there is always a man present in my life but that has always been the case.
I thank God for His wisdom because, although this has always been the case I have tried not to depend on men…but the truth is like most young women we do depend on men…for many things. I know right now you’re thinking, ‘SPEAK FOR YOUR SELF LOVE’…BUT IT IS TRUE. It is in our nature to be praised and appreciated and that’s where these men come in. A lot of the times, we know that these men don’t mean what they say but we want to hear them anyway because it makes us feel good about ourselves… Especially when we are single and don’t have that security of a relationship.
As a result of this realization and as the plane landed, I decided to TOTALLY be single in every sense of the word…and…yeah! You guessed right! It lasted about a week…!
Look…I can live without SEX…KISSING…and all the fuss that comes with relationships but I need that LATE NIGHT telephone calls with the opposite sex…! Come on, I’m not asking for much just the odd phone call, trip to the movies…you know…I don’t think that is too much to ask is it….after all I’m not asking for a baby…!!!
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