When I turned 25yrs old this year May 3rd 2013, a lot changed in my life. I had a lot of decisions to make about my life generally, emotionally and spiritually.
One of such decisions was becoming celibate. For those that are not sure what being celibate is. Its choosing to abstain from sex or sexual intercourse (after losing your virginity).
I made this decision first as just a mere challenge to see how long I could last. I became sexually active when I was 19yrs old and have enjoyed the 'forbidden fruit' ever since, so to speak.
As time has gone on, I've met men and when they've wanted to get intimate I explain to them that I am celibate. Most men have got angry and have even gone as far as accusing me of leading them on. Although I don't how mere telephone conversation and two dates count as leading one on.
My male friends have doubted my sanity while my female friends just laugh at me. Some even go as far as to say maybe I'm now gay and I'm using this as a cover up.
Well, I never expected all this when I decided to become celibate. To be honest and like I said before it started out merely as a challenge but as time goes on, I am finding that this decision I took is becoming more empowering each day and with each challenge and temptation.
It has not been easy and I don't imagine it will ever be but it has been rewarding. I am finding that I have more to offer men than my body. I am more intrigued when I meet people to find out more about their person than day dreaming about how good they are likely to be in bed. I am more comfortable with myself when relating to the opposite sex because I don't feel the pressure of activating my slut radar just to prove that I can be a freak in bed.
In short, I am slowly but finally discovering myself.
Its very surprising because this is NOT what I was expecting to experience at all when I embarked on this journey. At most, I thought I would be bored or even meet some hot guy who would pull me back. Actually come to think of it I have, lots actually but I have to say I am loving the self control and the dignity and pride I feel when I resist temptation and I've grown to cherish the absolute delight and growth I see when I stand infront of the mirror.
A lot of the times I've (and most young women) had sex, it has not been because I was in love with the person but most of the time its because I felt I was obliged to. As disturbing as it may be its the truth and Thicck Madamme always keeps it real.
Most of the time, we think its our free will to get intimate but think about it...is it really?
My journey is still very fresh, I will keep you updated on my progress and remember the next time you want to get intimate with that person ask yourself if its what you truly want or what is expected of you!
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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